Creating A Family Yule Tradition

There are many Pagans who struggle this time of year. It seems like everyone celebrates Christmas, but we celebrate Yule. Whether you’re a new Pagan trying to start new traditions or an experienced Pagan that wants to start including your family in your Sabbat celebrations, this article is for you.

Figure out what you want. Do you want your family to do rituals together? Do you want them to do what you usually do on Christmas, but only on the Solstice instead? Do you want to create new traditions? Which ones? Do a Google search to find some inspiration.

I personally wanted to create a cultural tradition with four presents apiece (something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read). We would have a tree, decorate it with ornaments and natural items like popcorn and cranberries. We would bake cookies together and share a family meal. We would sing songs and spend time together as a family.

Get your spouse or partner on board. Talk with your partner about what you want. Ask them what they want. It’s pretty much a guarantee that you won’t agree about something and will have to compromise.

For my family, I didn’t really care if my son had a mythical being that brought him presents, but my husband did. I hated the idea of our son participating in photos with Santa or our neighborhood nativity play, but my husband didn’t want him to feel left out. My husband’s family had a tradition of getting pajamas and a book the night before Christmas so they can wear them and read. He also had a tradition of the kids each getting an ornament each year, so that by the time they are 18, they will have at least 18 ornaments to decorate a tree of their own. They also all sat around while their parent read “The Night Before Christmas”.

In the end, we agreed to add an ornament to the four gifts. They would open two of the gifts the night before Yule so they could read in their pajamas. We would find some mythical being to believe in related to Yule. We will not do Santa and nativity plays. We also agreed to keep stockings a tradition, but haven’t figured out what to do with them, since they only get five presents. We don’t read “The Night Before Christmas”. My husband makes a big meal for us. The kid(s) and I make and decorate cookies, but not necessarily on Yule.

Take the age of your kids into consideration. The age of a child can make a big difference when it comes to changing family traditions. The given ages are only an approximation, so you can do what works best for you and your children.

0-3 years – If you have young kids, it is an ideal time to start new traditions. If they’re really young, they won’t remember what you did last year,so you can start whatever you want without them knowing any differently.

4-7 years – If they’re a bit older, you can just make your changes saying,”We will be doing it this way from now on.”

8-10 years – They will require more explanation and possibly easing them into it. One year you can change the date and keep everything else the same. The following year you can add one tradition you like and subtract one you don’t like. You can also give some examples and ask them what they would like to include.

11-18 years – At this age, they’re more independent. Due to developmental changes, they’re starting to be more interested in their peers than the family unit. Explain to them what you would like to do. Give them some options and ask for feedback. Don’t just listen to what they have to say and do what you want anyway. Actually incorporate at least one of their suggestions, even if it wasn’t what you had in mind. If they want to celebrate Yule by staying up all night with their friends at your house then exchanging presents at dawn, let them. At least they will be on board with celebrating it, even if it’s not quite what you envisioned.

18+ years – Assuming your kids are living outside of the home, it shouldn’t matter too much what you do to celebrate. If they celebrate with you, you can inform them. There might even be pushback because it’s not what they remember fondly from their childhood. If they really have a problem with it, discuss what traditions were the most important to them and continue those traditions. If your children still live at home over the age of 18, follow the protocol for 11-18 year olds.

Take your extended family into consideration. It’s likely that most of us have some family who aren’t Pagan. Figure out what part they will play in your celebrations. Some more open-minded family members might join you for Yule presents or a Yule dinner. Many will still insist on you celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah the same way they do every year. While you can do what you want, unless they’re toxic people, I see no need to alienate family members just because they celebrate a different holiday.

When my son gets old enough to ask, I intend to explain that they celebrate Christmas so we celebrate it with them. Just like we celebrate Yule, so they come celebrate it with us. Whenever something comes up at these other celebrations that I don’t agree with, I will chalk it up to a difference in holidays. “Oh, Santa comes here because they celebrate Christmas,” then explain that we don’t do Santa when the kid is out of earshot. You may have to explain a few times. You may choose to avoid family that refuses to abide by your wishes.

Take the rest of the world into consideration. When you have kids, they don’t live in a vacuum only seeing and hearing what you want them to. They will be exposed to Christmas at the very least. You should be prepared to explain to your kids when they ask about other holidays.

I personally believe mine should be educated so they know what is out there. I plan to tell him that different people celebrate different things and that’s okay.

What does your family do to celebrate Yule? Please let us know in the comments!

Sabbats and Esbats, Wiccan Holidays

The Sabbats are the eight Pagan holidays related to the passage of the sun, which is sometimes personified as a God.  A lot of Wiccans have a story of how the God is born at Yule, grows to manhood, impregnates the Goddess at Beltane, and dies at Samhain only to be reborn again at Yule.  Because they are based on the Sun, they mostly occur at the same time in the calendar year.

I am slowly including posts for each Sabbat. Each post goes into what is celebrated at each Sabbat, ways to culturally celebrate, and some suggestions for rituals at each.

Yule (Winter Solstice)

Imbolg (February 1st or August 1st for the southern hemisphere)

Ostara (Spring Equinox)

Beltane (May 1st or November 1st for the southern hemisphere)

Midsummer (Summer Solstice)

Lughnasadh (August 1st or February 1st for the southern hemisphere)

Mabon (Autumn Equinox)

Samhain (October 31st or April 31st for the southern hemisphere)

The Esbats are the 12-13 Pagan holidays related to the passage of the moon. They usually coincide with the new moon or the full moon. The moon is often personified as a Goddess. Because women’s bodies (mostly) change on a 28-day cycle, the moon is often associated with females. When I have finished with the posts for the Sabbats, I will then focus on the Esbats.

Sabbats: Yule

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Yule is on the winter solstice.  It is probably the most iconic and most celebrated Pagan holiday.  It you look at modern Christmas celebrations and take out all of the God and Jesus references, you’ll pretty much be left with Yule.  In fact, in most Scandinavian countries, Christmas is still called Jul (pronounced Yule). Here is a list of things that are traditionally celebrated during Yule:Holly-wreath1

  • The longest night of the year
  • Rebirth
  • Starting over
  • Welcoming back the sun (the morning after)
  • Having enough food to get through the winter months

 

Here are some ways it can be celebrated culturally:yulelog

  • Create and light a Yule log
  • Decorate your altar or home with evergreens
  • Baking
  • Making resolutions
  • Ringing bells
  • Singing carols
  • Giving gifts
  • Giving to and helping the less fortunate
  • Spending time with family
  • Cooking or eating a feast.
  • Staying up all night
  • Ring in the dawn with bells
  • Go wassailing (responsibly, please)
  • Decorate a Yule tree

Some ritual ideas for Yule are:

  • Meditation
  • Inner work
  • New beginnings
  • Dedicating oneself to a path or course of study
  • Welcoming back the sun
  • Cleansing
  • Snow magic
  • Anything you want to manifest in the coming year

Some other notable celebrations at this time of year.

Jolabokaflod – On the evening of December 24th in Iceland, people give gifts of a book, chocolate, and pajamas.  They spend the evening in bed, reading, and eating chocolate.

Twelfth Night – On the 12th night after Yule there used to be a big feast.  Today this usually corresponds with New Years.

How do you celebrate Yule?

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