Plant plants. Depending on where you live, this may or may not be a good time to plant plants outside. You can also start seeds inside if it’s too cold outside to plant anything yet.
Dye eggs. Eggs have been a symbol of death and rebirth for over 60,000 years. However, dying them is one of the few traditions that do have Christian origins. It was the early Christians in Mesopotamia that dyed eggs red to symbolize Christ’s blood. Though there are a few sources that link it to Germanic Pagan practices as well. Either way, you can still enjoy dying eggs. There are many online tutorials explaining natural dying methods, or you can get a kit from the store.
Have an egg hunt. Whether it’s plastic eggs with toys or candy inside or actual eggs, this can be a lot of fun, especially with kids.
Balance an egg. I know that this seems weird, but it can be done! Supposedly this is one of two days a year where this is possible.
Go for a walk outside. No matter what climate you live in, this is a great way to connect with nature and whatever Ostara feels like where you live.
Decorate your home or altar with flowers. Flowers are another symbol of the fertility of the season.
Go flower picking. Many areas have flowers that grow naturally. Go for a walk and find them!
Make flower crowns or necklaces.
Make foods related to the time of year. Make and eat foods with eggs, baby greens, veal, rabbit, or any foods that are in season for you right now.
Plan a garden. This is a great time to plan a garden, unless the planting season has already begun.
Decorate a tree with wooden painted eggs. Many people decorate outside trees with plastic eggs, but wooden eggs are an environmentally friendly alternative.
Decorate your home with symbols of new life. Bunnies, chicks, baby animals, seedlings, flowers are all fun things to decorate your home with.
Have some intimate time. Fertility is a big part of this holiday, though there are some superstitious people who don’t do it during this unless they’re trying to conceive.
Bake. Challa, hot cross buns, bunny or egg shaped cookies are all things that are appropriate for this season.
Read stories about the season. Read about the Green Man or Persophone. There are many stories about this time of year.
Do animal magic. This can be anything from pretending to be an animal with young kids to doing actual shamanic work.
Go bird watching. Birds tend to be more active this time of year. You may want to learn some nice calls as well.
Dance. Find some music and let yourself go!
Do an Ostara ritual. One of these days I will get around to writing some rituals for each sabbat. When I do that, I will post the link here.
Dress in new clothes. This is an old custom for this time of year.
Make a Swedish Snow Lantern. This is a fun way to enjoy the snow, involve kids, and candles. If you live somewhere there is snow, this is a great way to spend the day.
Make a Brigid’s Cross. The Goddess Brigid is always a big part of Imbolc. This cross is usually hung over or near the entry doorway for protection?
Light candles. Candles are used as a form of sympathetic magic to help bring the sun and the warmth back after winter.
Clean your home. A long time ago, our ancestors that lived in colder climates, virtually spent all of their time indoors. As a result, their homes were well-kept during this time.
Declutter your home. Again, one of the themes of this day is about hearth and home. If you have more items than you need, take the time to figure out what you no longer need and donate, sell, or give it to someone who needs it.
Cleanse your home. Every so often, homes have negative energy build up. Now is a great time to cleanse your home of that negativity.
Do guided meditations. A lot of this day is about stillness as well. Search YouTube and find some guided meditations that you like.
Do inner work. Do lit work. Do shadow work. Learn to lucid dream, astral project, or shamanic journeying. The important this is to improve your spirituality by learning something new.
Unplug all electronics for the day. This should be a day of calm self-refllection. Electronics tend to ruin that. Turn off all electronics. If it’s something that you find difficult to do, you may want to make it a habit. Back when I was learning to meditate, I was encouraged to do it during down time like waiting in line at the post office or grocery store. However, that’s the time when most of us pull out our phones now, robbing us of those opportunities.
Light your home by candlelight for the night. I always loved candlelight. It really seems to make things seem special. It gives enough light for interactions with family and friends, but not really enough for solo activities.
Make and eat foods made with milk and dairy products. This is probably the least-celebrated of all of the Sabbats, historically. I think there were only two cultures that celebrated it, back in the day. Those that did, celebrated it because after a long and hard winter, the goats started to lactate again, giving everyone milk and cheese to eat. You don’t have to go out of your way to get goats milk and cheese, but if you do, my favorite is gjetost, a Norwegian goat cheese. But really anything to do with dairy is great. We have a homemade Mac & cheese recipe we like. Ice cream or cheesecake are also fun options. Here is a link to some other cooking options for Imbolc.
Make your own cheese. Making your own cheese is surprisingly easy. The tough part is finding creamline milk that hasn’t been ultra pasteurized. I am lucky that I have a dairy up the road that sells milk like that! Here is a how-to guide on making simple cheese at home.
Read books to improve your spiritual knowledge. There are so many great Pagan books out there. There is also a lot of fluff out there too. In order to find a good book nowadays I usually go off the recommendations of friends or go to an actual bookstore and flip through the book first. You can also try the inter-library loan system. Unfortunately, where I live, they don’t have a lot of Pagan books, even for inter-library loan.
Feed animals who might be struggling through the winter. Those of us whose ancestors lived in cold climates struggled with having enough to eat throughout the winter. Animals still experience that struggle. If you live in a cold climate, consider leaving out some food for them.
Take a walk in the snow (if your locale permits). Even if you live in a warm climate, it’s still a great idea to take a walk in nature and experience what weather is typical for Imbolc in the climate you live in.
Create a corn dolly. This sounds odd because corn is associated with Lughnasadh, but the husks need to be dried first. Apparently Imbolc was a time they were made, possibly in keeping with the need for fertility for planting at Ostara. Here is a tutorial on how to make one.
Create a protective sigil. Home magic is something that is great to do on this day. Here is a guide to making your own sigil.
Do divination. Divination is something else that was commonly practiced historically. Usually questions were asked about the harvest and community, but feel free to ask what you want to know. Don’t have a form of divination? Now s a great time to learn! Tarot, runes, pendulums, palmistry, tea leaves, scrying, the choices are endless!
Tell stories. Now is a great time for storytelling, preferably by candlelight. Pick stories that teach a lesson, teach about your religion, or traditional stories from your people.
Do a ritual. Spend time honoring your personal God’s and beliefs in a ritual.
Decorate your home or altar with evergreens. This used to be a common practice. There’s also something to be said for the pine smell. In recent years, plastic decorations seem to have prevailed. However, it is my opinion that a religion that considers nature to be sacred should use items from nature to decorate, if possible. Even if you don’t have access to evergreens to decorate with, most grocery stores sell wreaths made from real evergreens. Last year, I found a branch on the ground while taking a walk and left that on my altar with some pinecones. Just make sure to discard it after the holiday so you’re not sweeping up pine needles for the next year, like I did! Here are some great ideas for decorating with evergreens.
Decorate a Yule tree. I have had the same plastic tree for a number of years now because I just can’t afford to buy real ones every year. However, we try to decorate it naturally. We string cranberries and popcorn instead of garland. Ribbons in holiday colors can be tied in knots and how’s on the branches. You can use your own or make ornaments. My son recently found some red shredded paper in a gift box and started hanging it on the tree like tinsel.
Create and light a Yule log. There are many different options when it comes to Yule logs. If you can’t have a fire, you can take a lot, drill holes in it, and place candles there. Three is a traditional number, but I have also seen seven used. It is usually created out of birch. There are some folk traditions regarding Yule logs. If it is in the hearth, it is considered unlucky to have to light it twice. If it has candles, the youngest person present must light them (though it could prove problematic if you have a baby). While it is being lit, everyone should be silent, focusing on hopes and wishes for the new year. After it is lit, all other lights are put out until the log or the candles have been burned completely. While it is burning, stories can be told and board or card games played.
Baking. One of the most Pagan baked goods you can make is a Yule Log, which is also called a Bûche de Noël. As far as baking goes, these are definitely one of the more difficult items to bake. A Swedish tea ring can symbolize the wheel of the year, but is also a more advanced bake. You don’t have to be an expert to enjoy baking at Yule though. Simple sugar cookies are great, especially if you use Pagan themed cookie cutters. Even so, regular Christmas ones can be decorated in a Pagan way. Angels can become fairies, Santa can become the Holly King, etc. There are also Celtic cakes, icicle cookies, and many other great cookie recipes out there. I have a number of family recipes from Scandinavia that are traditional for my family like serina kakar and krum kakar (kakar is the Norwegian word for cookie). Most Yule breads are a little like fruitcakes with bits of dried fruit added.
Making resolutions. Some Pagans consider Samhain to be the last Sabbat of the wheel of the year. Yule is often thought of as a time for making a fresh start and new beginnings. You can share your resolutions or keep them to yourself. Either way, try and use smart goals to ensure that you are more likely to keep your resolution. Smart goals are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely.
Helping the less fortunate. You can volunteer at a local soup kitchen, head a coat drive, donate food to your local food bank, or buy necessary items to give to the homeless. Even visiting local nursing homes and spending time with the residents is a kind thing to do this time of year. There are only a few Pagan charities that I am aware of. Angel Greer, author of Pagans of the Path, is heading a fundraiser to help those in need at Yule. The link will take you to her personal PayPal account, so make sure you specify that the money is for Yule. Dagda’s Cauldron, out of Ohio, I believe, is collecting food for the hungry. Here is a list of charities that, while not necessarily Pagan, many Pagans might be interested in donating money towards.
Cook and/or eat a feast. Historically, feasting was very popular this time of year. Without grocery stores and modern food preservation methods, during the winter you ate whatever you had managed to harvest and preserve. During Yule, if livestock were kept, many were slaughtered so they wouldn’t have to be fed over the winter and to provide food for the duration of the winter. Because of that, traditional Yule foods include meat, root vegetables, as well as grains and dried and preserved fruits, though in America, squash is also considered a staple.. The oldest records of Yule seem to indicate that boar or goat were the meats of choice, though any type of game was fine, including venison and pheasant. If you don’t have access to any of those foods, any other type of roasted meat is good too. Winter squashes like acorn squash, butternut squash, pumpkin, and other varieties of squash are native to the Americas, so they aren’t traditional foods for Europe, where Yule began, during this time of year, but seem to have become a holiday staple in recent years. Root vegetables were commonly consumed during this time as well. Potatoes, carrots, parsnips, onions, yams, turnips, and rutabagas are all good choices for a Yule feast. Wheat, the, barley, and oats were all common in Scandinavia, where Yule originated, for over 1,000 years, so they would all make excellent choices to accompany your meal. And of course, who can forget the right pudding?
Stay up all night. Because it is the l ongest night of the year, there are places where it was traditional to stay up all night long. This practice was usually combined with celebrating the rising of the sun.
Celebrate the sun rising on the morning after Yule. Traditionally, people rang bells to celebrate the return on the sun on the morning after Yule. My coven prefers to sing instead.
Sing songs. My family is particularly musical, so we love to sing. There are many Yule songs to choose from at this time of year. Here is an article I wrote on the subject. There is also a YouTube playlist that you could play as well, to set the holiday atmosphere.
Give gifts. The idea of gift-giving stems from the ancient Roman holiday of Sigillaria, which was celebrated on December 19th. Gifts were often small tokens that were not expensive, but meant something to the giver or givee. Toys were given to children. Gag gifts were common. Some expensive gifts were given, but as a general rule, most of the gifts given weren’t worth much money. Short poems on paper often accompanied the gifts, which may have been the origin of modern greeting cards.
Celebrating for multiple days. Historically, Yule (Jul back then) was celebrated for three days. It was said that with King Hakkon’s conversion to Christianity, he changed the date of Yule and passed a law that the feasting must last 12 days instead of three. However, I don’t think that’s where it came from. While 12 is a very Christian number, with the 12 disciples and all that, New Year’s Day is 12 days from Yule. In modern times, our extended family is large, so we really do end up celebrating for most of those 12 days with various relatives, partially because most of them celebrate Christmas instead. Some of you may prefer the three days or even stick with the one day.
Feed local wildlife. The simplest way to do this is to hang a bird feeder. However, some people decorate an outdoor tree with ornaments that are edible by the local wildlife. These ornaments can include strings of popcorn and cranberries, balls of diet, peanut butter and birdseed on pinecones, and dried fruit tied with bright string.
Spend time with family. Each family spends time together differently. Some love to play board games or card games. Some play video games. Every family has something they do together. My extended family gets together by all bringing homemade pizzas every year on Christmas Eve.
Spend some time outside. There is plenty to do if you have snow, such as snowmen, snowball fights, skiing, snowshoeing, etc. Even if there isn’t, you can take a walk outside and enjoy the winter, however it may be where you live.
Go a-wassailing (responsibly please). The English custom of wassailing involves going door-to-door singing. At each stop,you stay long enough to have a cup of wassail. Wassail can be alcoholic or non-alcoholic. Even if you don’t think your neighbors will participate, you can always make the drink for friends and family at home.
Leave food or offerings for mythological creatures. Christian kids leave cookies for Santa. Does the Holly King or someone else come to your house to leave presents for the kids? Leave them some food or drink they might like. Even if they don’t, now might be a good time to leave offerings to your land spirits to stay in their good grades.
Do a ritual. I intend to write a separate article on ritual ideas. When I do, I will link it here.
Celebrate Jolabokaflod. This is the Icelandic holiday where, on Christmas Eve, they all unwrap books and spend the night reading and eating chocolate. My family does something similar on Yule’s Eve.
As a Wiccan and a music teacher, one of my favorite things about the holiday season are singing holiday songs. While some people enjoy them, there’s nothing that bothers me more than Christmas songs that have had their lyrics changed to Pagan words. I think we have many other options of both traditional and original music that there really is no need for it. Here is a list of songs you can sing during Yule. I have also created a playlist for them all on YouTube so you can play through them to set a holiday atmosphere this Yule!
Traditional “Christmas” carols that are really Pagan
1.Deck the Halls – Most people think of it as a Christmas song, but there is no mention of Christ or Christmas. The lyrics of the first verse portray decorating the house with Holly, wearing festive clothes, and singing carols. The second verse refers to the Yule log and “Yuletide treasure”. This is definitely a Pagan song.
2. Here We Come A-Wassailing – This “Christmas” song is about the tradition of wassailing in Great Britain. It stems from the idea that fuedal lords shared their exceeds with the peasents. Most people think of the holiday tradition of wassailing where people go caroling from house to house and are given wassail to drink. There are also traditions in cider producing regions of England that are more in line with Mabon where they crown a king and queen who bless the fruit to ensure a good apple harvest.
3. Boar’s Head Carol – This lesser-known carol gives the details of a feast featuring a boar. There are a few Latin phrases, but none of them really translate to anything related to Christmas.
4. O Tannenbaum – Most people think tannenbaum translates to “Christmas Tree”, but it really means fir tree or pine tree. The rest of the carol talks about how the tree stays green all year round and how beautiful the tree is. How Pagan can you get?
5. The Holly and the Ivy – It is very clear that this song was originally Pagan. The entire first verse is full of nature references . It mentions the rising of the sun, a popular Solstice theme. It also references the battle between the Holly King and the Oak King, though he is referred to as the ivy in this song. For example, “of all the trees that are in the woods, the Holly wears the crown.” Only the subsequent verses are Christian in nature, leading us to believe they were added to the song after the fact. The comparisons of the holly to Mary and the Christ child in the following verses are really a pretty far stretch. We don’t have any historical evidence that I am aware of with other lyrics for the other verses, but I think that the first verse does well on its own.
Honorable mentions: Patapan – Who can resist a carol with Pan in the title? It’s mostly about celebrating with music. There is a mention of Noel in the original language, which could translate to either Christmas or Yule, though all of the modern English versions opt to use Christmas. Another honorable mention: In The Bleak Midwinter – the first verse is full of beautiful winter imagery, but the rest is all about Christ. All of the lyrics were written at the same time, so it was definitely intended to be a Christmas song. Even so, the first verse might make a beautiful addition to your carols.
Traditional “Christmas” carols that are really just winter songs
6. Jingle Bells – A lot of people think of this song as a Christmas song, but there is no mention of the holiday at all. The lyrics merely detail a sleigh ride.
7. Let it Snow – This song describes a common feeling many of us have if you live anywhere that it snows. It is the feeling of being warm and comfortable and watching it snow.
8. Winter Wonderland – The idea that the season of winter changes the landscape into a wonderland is definitely a Pagan one.
9. Jingle Bell Rock – This is a nice upbeat song about nothing in particular. It certainly doesn’t mention any holidays, Christian or Pagan.
10. Frosty the Snowman – What Pagan doesn’t love the idea of personified snow? It’s a great song for kids, though the lyrics don’t exactly make it easy for kids to remember.
Honorable mention: It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – I think the title of this one describes this song nicely. There are references to holiday traditions, but there is one mention of “Christmases long long ago”. Other honorable mention: Baby It’s Cold Outside – I don’t particularly like this song because to the modern ear it sounds a lot like date rape. However, in the context of the time it was written, it was more likely meant as a woman who was reluctant to leave and felt the need to say she had to go because of societal expectations of the time.
Modern original songs about Yule
11. The Christians and the Pagans by Dar Williams – This song is a favorite of mine. It tells the story of Amber and Jane who were visiting a town for Solstice and decide to visit Amber’s “Christ-loving uncle”. It is an upbeat feel-good song with some amusing moments about the meeting of cultures like when Amber’s cousin asked if she was a witch.
12. Santa Claus is Pagan Too by Emerald Rose – I almost didn’t include this one in the list because it mentions Santa Claus. However, it’s clever and catchy and explains the Pagan origins of Santa.
13. Solstice Carol by Wyrd Sisters – This simple song is easy to sing along with and is written in Dorian mode, which seems to be a standard for Pagan music.
14. Solstice Evergreen by Spiral Dance – There is some nice imagery in addition to a singable tune.
15. On Midwinter’s Day by Damh the Bard – This upbeat song mentions other Pagan holidays and ideas, while celebrating Midwinter’s day.
Modern popular music that could be used to celebrate Yule
16. White is In The Winter Night by Enya – This song evokes thoughts of celebration and the winter holidays without directly mentioning any of them. Mistletoe, holly, candles, and colors of the season are all mentioned in this song by Enya.
17. Song for A Winter’s Night by Sarah McLaughlin – Her haunting voice really evokes the sense of winter, even though the vocals often dwell on other things.
18. Winter by Tori Amos – I chose this song because it mentions some of the symbolism of winter. Winter is a time for introspection (“Mirror mirror, where’s the crystal palace? But I can only see myself.”). Winter is also considered a time symbolizing old age (“Hair is grey and the fires are burning. So many dreams on the shelf.”). Tori Amos isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, mostly because it’s abstract and full of symbolism, but that’s why it makes this list.
19. Solstice Bells by Jethro Tull – It’s tough to believe that popular bands were playing music about the Solstice for this long, but Jethro Tull was ahead of it’s time. It is sad that in the mix the instruments overwhelm the vocals.
20. Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles – While not really a song one tends to associate with the holiday, it’s lyrics very much describe the coming of the sun.
Here is the playlist containing my top choices for each category including instrumentals, for your holiday celebrations. I tried to choose videos that didn’t have to ensure songs played consecutively.
Do you know of a song that should make this list? If so, leave it in the comments below!
There are many Pagans who struggle this time of year. It seems like everyone celebrates Christmas, but we celebrate Yule. Whether you’re a new Pagan trying to start new traditions or an experienced Pagan that wants to start including your family in your Sabbat celebrations, this article is for you.
Figure out what you want. Do you want your family to do rituals together? Do you want them to do what you usually do on Christmas, but only on the Solstice instead? Do you want to create new traditions? Which ones? Do a Google search to find some inspiration.
I personally wanted to create a cultural tradition with four presents apiece (something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read). We would have a tree, decorate it with ornaments and natural items like popcorn and cranberries. We would bake cookies together and share a family meal. We would sing songs and spend time together as a family.
Get your spouse or partner on board. Talk with your partner about what you want. Ask them what they want. It’s pretty much a guarantee that you won’t agree about something and will have to compromise.
For my family, I didn’t really care if my son had a mythical being that brought him presents, but my husband did. I hated the idea of our son participating in photos with Santa or our neighborhood nativity play, but my husband didn’t want him to feel left out. My husband’s family had a tradition of getting pajamas and a book the night before Christmas so they can wear them and read. He also had a tradition of the kids each getting an ornament each year, so that by the time they are 18, they will have at least 18 ornaments to decorate a tree of their own. They also all sat around while their parent read “The Night Before Christmas”.
In the end, we agreed to add an ornament to the four gifts. They would open two of the gifts the night before Yule so they could read in their pajamas. We would find some mythical being to believe in related to Yule. We will not do Santa and nativity plays. We also agreed to keep stockings a tradition, but haven’t figured out what to do with them, since they only get five presents. We don’t read “The Night Before Christmas”. My husband makes a big meal for us. The kid(s) and I make and decorate cookies, but not necessarily on Yule.
Take the age of your kids into consideration. The age of a child can make a big difference when it comes to changing family traditions. The given ages are only an approximation, so you can do what works best for you and your children.
0-3 years – If you have young kids, it is an ideal time to start new traditions. If they’re really young, they won’t remember what you did last year,so you can start whatever you want without them knowing any differently.
4-7 years – If they’re a bit older, you can just make your changes saying,”We will be doing it this way from now on.”
8-10 years – They will require more explanation and possibly easing them into it. One year you can change the date and keep everything else the same. The following year you can add one tradition you like and subtract one you don’t like. You can also give some examples and ask them what they would like to include.
11-18 years – At this age, they’re more independent. Due to developmental changes, they’re starting to be more interested in their peers than the family unit. Explain to them what you would like to do. Give them some options and ask for feedback. Don’t just listen to what they have to say and do what you want anyway. Actually incorporate at least one of their suggestions, even if it wasn’t what you had in mind. If they want to celebrate Yule by staying up all night with their friends at your house then exchanging presents at dawn, let them. At least they will be on board with celebrating it, even if it’s not quite what you envisioned.
18+ years – Assuming your kids are living outside of the home, it shouldn’t matter too much what you do to celebrate. If they celebrate with you, you can inform them. There might even be pushback because it’s not what they remember fondly from their childhood. If they really have a problem with it, discuss what traditions were the most important to them and continue those traditions. If your children still live at home over the age of 18, follow the protocol for 11-18 year olds.
Take your extended family into consideration. It’s likely that most of us have some family who aren’t Pagan. Figure out what part they will play in your celebrations. Some more open-minded family members might join you for Yule presents or a Yule dinner. Many will still insist on you celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah the same way they do every year. While you can do what you want, unless they’re toxic people, I see no need to alienate family members just because they celebrate a different holiday.
When my son gets old enough to ask, I intend to explain that they celebrate Christmas so we celebrate it with them. Just like we celebrate Yule, so they come celebrate it with us. Whenever something comes up at these other celebrations that I don’t agree with, I will chalk it up to a difference in holidays. “Oh, Santa comes here because they celebrate Christmas,” then explain that we don’t do Santa when the kid is out of earshot. You may have to explain a few times. You may choose to avoid family that refuses to abide by your wishes.
Take the rest of the world into consideration. When you have kids, they don’t live in a vacuum only seeing and hearing what you want them to. They will be exposed to Christmas at the very least. You should be prepared to explain to your kids when they ask about other holidays.
I personally believe mine should be educated so they know what is out there. I plan to tell him that different people celebrate different things and that’s okay.
What does your family do to celebrate Yule? Please let us know in the comments!
Whenever anyone thinks of any of the mother aspects of the Goddess, people tend to think of the miracle of growing a child into a baby, the miracle of birth, and the warm, loving motherly energy that the ideal mother would give — maybe with some wisdom to go with it.
However, most mothers do not really seem to think or feel that way about ourselves. Frankly, if you’re a mom, you’re probably stressed out and feeling guilty because you don’t have enough time to do all of the things you feel like you should be doing. I know that’s how I feel. I kind of let go of the fact that I created a very awesome human not too long after he was born. I spent the rest of the time worrying and making sure we were doing everything perfectly.
My son, two days old
That didn’t work out so well because nobody’s perfect. Right off the bat, I suffered from baby blues. I was afraid of how fragile he was. One tiny snap or shake or drop, and he could be seriously injured for life! I was so afraid of screwing him up. It didn’t help that I didn’t produce enough milk for my son, so we had to supplement with formula. It turned out he had a tongue and lip tie that nobody checked for until he was 10 months old. By then it was too late to recover my milk supply and he already was a good eater of solid foods.
As he grew, I grew less worried about some things and more worried about others. My son is very good about eating, but I still worry that he’s going to choke on a hotdog or something. Last month he started learning to climb. Since then, he has been climbing on everything and trying to climb up and over the back of the couch. Now I worry about him climbing something, falling, and hurting himself.
Now that he’s almost 19 months old, I found something new to worry about — his development. Now my son is very smart. He has figured out how to get through or around almost every baby gate we have. He can figure out how do things that we have found surprising. Today I took a wooden animal puzzle, dumped it out, and watched him put all of the animals back in the right place, even rotating some of them to do it. But he has yet to really talk.
Yeah, this is the the puzzle he put back together on his own at almost 19 months.
He has learned several signs and uses them regularly. He says “mamamamamama” when he’s upset and wants me to comfort him. Last week he started telling us to “stop”. However, he really only has a handful of words that he uses and maybe three that he uses regularly. He has only just started babbling with any regularity. He was supposed to start pointing at things around a year and he only started doing it 2-3 months ago. He’s supposed to have 20 words by the time he’s 18 months and is supposed to be more interested in talking than signing. but that is not the case.
So now I am wondering, is there something wrong with him? Is there something wrong with what we’re doing? Are we not spending enough time talking to him? Possibly. I work a lot and tend to be too tired when I come home to really attempt to converse with him. I read to him almost every night. At every meal time we try to get him to copy sounds (without success), trying to get him to call something, anything by name. He can eat an entire meal using a fork, but he won’t call the water “wa wa”. I’m sure he’ll figure it out eventually. At least, I hope so!
Anyway, while there are many magical aspects of motherhood, including watching the amazing changes as kids grow from babies to toddlers. No doubt there will be many more magical things to come. However, the worrying is SO TOUGH!
As I think I have stated before, we are trying to celebrate the Pagan sabbats (holidays) more as cultural holidays. For Imbolc, we planned to do a thorough cleaning of the house, to purify it, and have a dinner with my family with Imbolc-appropriate foods. My husband and I spent the first half of the day dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping our house. Even though there were still several areas that needed work, the areas that had been attended to (clothes, books, and papers) were starting to be happy areas amid the rest of the chaos. I was actually starting to be happy with how our house was looking!
Afterwards, we all went to go see two houses that were for sale in our area in our price range. Our price range was low and everything was in a “fixer-upper” category. We’ll see how the process goes!
We got back later than expected. I was going to make cheese pull-apart bread and my husband was going to make sugar-free brownies. He was also going to make homemade cheese curds for poutine (french fries with gravy and cheese curds). He did make the fries from scratch though. They were delicious! Everyone but me had iced cream for dessert.
In talking over the holiday with my mom and step-dad, they seemed to think that there should be something more to the holiday than they saw. Not being Pagan, I expected them to just want to eat dinner with us. However, I guess they wanted some weird Pagany stuff. I told them that divination was common and I could get out my tarot cards if they wanted (I’m really very bad at them, but I’m working to get better). Luckily for me they declined. Lighting candles is a big part of Imbolc, but I couldn’t figure out what we were going to do after those candles were lit! Although at the end of the evening, I realized story telling was also a good idea, so maybe we will try that next year!
I’m going to start this post by stating that I live in the U.S.A.. This is relevant because here we supposedly have freedom of religion. Basically, The First Amendment to the “United States Constitution prevents the government from making laws which respect an establishment of religion, prohibit the free exercise of religion….” There is also a clause preventing workplaces from discriminating on a number of factors, one being religion. The exception is if the employer is a religious institution.
Just because the laws say there shouldn’t be any discrimination against religions, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. It just means that employers can’t mention your religion when they fire you for it. I’m pretty sure I have been fired for my religion at least twice in my life. It could have been more than that, but when I get fired because I’m “not a good fit” with a school district, yet they kept a teacher who literally held a student forcibly against a wall and lied about his knowledge of the subject matter he was supposed to be teaching, it’s pretty clear there was something off about their explanation of my firing.
Why is this coming up now? I was chatting with my husband the other day. He couldn’t understand why I enjoyed watching The Good Witch. I explained that not only is it the most accurate portrayal of Paganism that I’ve seen on TV, but also that I have a dream of one day of moving somewhere and finally being accepted for who I really am, Paganism and all. My husband flat out told me that it would never happen. I held back my tears and told him I needed time to myself. He assumed it was for another reason and I let him. When I got there, I cried. I cried for all of the times that I have had to move. I cried because he had almost dashed my hopes that it was possible to be accepted in a small town for being Pagan.
While I have gotten good at hiding it from my employers over the past 5 years or so, my son will be starting pre-K in the district I work in before I get tenure. I had a choice. I could hide my religion from my son or I can live my truth at home and hope that when the time comes, I will have been there long enough that they will overlook it. I refuse to hide who I am from my son, so that’s the option I’m going for right now.
Having to hide who I am in order to get (and keep) a teaching job really hurts. It’s not like I would ever teach my students about my religion. I just want to be able to wear a pentacle to work without worrying about being fired. I want to be able to take my holidays off of work without fearing that I will lose my family’s sole source of income.
It really pisses me off when I see some of my Christian friends complain that there is a “war on Christmas” because people say “Happy Holidays”. Really!? Christmas is a national fucking holiday! Or when they complain that they’re being discriminated against because they can’t pray in schools. Uh, actually, the students can. They just can’t have it be led or required in any way by the school or any adult. Not to mention if I had a dollar for the number of times someone on the Pagan Parenting group that I’m part of complained about the promotion of religion by someone at their school, I would be rich.
I’m just sick of feeling like this. I’m sick of hiding who I am. I’m sick of worrying about losing my job if I do anything to even hint at being Pagan. The gays had their chance at rights. They’re working on transgender rights now. I just wish there was something that I could do. But there’s already a law that’s supposedly protecting me. It just doesn’t. Please comment and tell me that there’s hope. I want to know that there are some open Pagans out there — preferably in small towns and teaching positions, that are actually accepted for who they are.
I have mentioned before that I am working on starting family traditions while my son is still young. He’s 16 months old, so I figured now is the perfect time to figure all of this out. My husband and I both want to celebrate Yule, but our families both celebrate Christmas. In no other religion that I know of do you have to create new traditions when you join. One of the things I love about being an Eclectic Pagan is is that I take whatever works from whatever religion I like. I like it because there are so many good things in so many religions worth “stealing”. However, when it comes to figuring out how to celebrate holidays, it makes things tough.
My husband and I had the “Santa Claus” talk. I was in favor of telling not telling our son about Santa, he wasn’t. His argument had nothing to do with “the truth” or getting to participate in the “magic” of it and everything to do with how our son wouldn’t know about Santa when he entered school. Because of this, I started researching some options for our family. Here are some options of Santa Claus alternatives for Pagan kids.
A depiction of the Holly King
The Holly King – In Celtic traditions, there is a story of the Oak King and the Holly King. The Holly King rules the cold part of the year with the height of his power being at Yule. At the equinoxes, the power switches hands. The Holly King also looks quite a bit like Santa Claus.
Mother Berchta – She rides her goat with a sack on her back full of foods. She goes to houses, roasts the goat and gives the food. The bones go back in the bag and out jumps the goat good as new! One time a child purposely broke one of the goat’s bones and she put the child in the bag and took then away. So now she brings gifts to good kids and takes the bad ones.
Odin – Odin had a lot of characteristics of what we think of as Santa Claus now. His name in Old Norse even has the first syllable of “Jul” ( pronounced Yule in English).
Odin on Sleipnir
The Yule Lads – It’s a Scandinavian tradition (in Scandinavia, they still call Christmas, Jul) where the kids leave their shoe on the windowsill for the last 13 nights before Yule. If they were good, they get a treat. If not, they get a rotten potato.
A depiction of some of the Yule Lads on a Scandinavian milk carton
This is also a great article about some lesser-known festive traditions!
What does your family do? Tell us in the comments below!
I just read through a very touching blog post at My Wiccan Story. It was a sweet story of how she prayed to the Goddess in a time of need and how the Goddess helped. I kind of touched on it in my last post, but I have been spending so much time trying to not appear Pagan, that I have lost a lot of my Pagan-ness.
I’m a teacher. While I believe firmly in the separation between church and state, I also believe in freedom of religion. I have never once preached about Paganism to my students. I have never even taught them about it. At my first teaching job, however, I did wear a ring with a pentacle on it. One of my students made a big deal out of me being “a witch”. His mother started a “witch hunt” and complained about me constantly. She even snuck into the school to observe my class to find things to further complain about. I was asked not to return because I was “a bad fit with the district.”.
At my next job, I left my overtly religious jewelry at home. I had a necklace that looked like mother earth and I often wore that or necklaces made of gemstones. I was asked to return for a second year. The school had open tennis on their tennis courts certain days after school. Since I was trying to get into better shape, I would often go out there to play. I made the mistake of wearing my Pagan Pride Day t-shirt one day. It was seen by a board member. I wasn’t even given a reason for being fired. My principal and superintendent tried to back me up, but the board of education voted me out.
After that, I was pretty butthurt. I refused to mention my religion at work. I was careful where I work my Pagan t-shirts, in case someone saw me. I made sure not to become close to anyone at work in case they found out and made it public. Nonetheless, I went through three more schools in three years. After a time when I couldn’t get a job, I found a job in the most unlikely place — Catholic school. I applied for a job, not realizing that the name of the school referred to something that was Catholic. An even bigger surprise, was that I got the job! I doubled down in my efforts to hide my religion. My boss knew I wasn’t Catholic, but she definitely didn’t know that I was Pagan. I had to attend Mass and teach my students Catholic hymns. Hey, it was a job and I did it well for three years. They were three miserable years where I worried constantly about being fired if they ever found out I was Pagan.
I found another public school job and was happy to get out. Unfortunately, that one didn’t work out either and I got my job where I am now. I work in a small town. I am again afraid that people will find out and I will lose my job. Tenure has been raised to four years, so my son is going to be entering Pre-K before I get tenure. I can teach him absolutely nothing about our beliefs to save my job, but that makes me sad inside. I want to be able to share my religion with my son.
I realized that while my religion absolutely needs to stay out of my work, it can absolutely become part of my home life. The problem is that I spent so long trying to appear normal, to fit in, that I really stuffed all of my Pagan-ness deep down. I want to start doing some things daily to reaffirm my Pagan-ness and create a culture of Paganism at home, but I don’t know what to do or where to start. When I’m grateful for something good, I want to remember to thank the Gods. When things are not going well, I want to think to ask the Gods for help. My son is 15 months old and my husband is vaguely Pagan-ish who will go along with things so long as they’re not too “out there”. I actually set up my altar again and even decorated it for Samhain. I don’t know what steps to take next. How do I start creating a Pagan culture at home?
