Creating A Family Yule Tradition

There are many Pagans who struggle this time of year. It seems like everyone celebrates Christmas, but we celebrate Yule. Whether you’re a new Pagan trying to start new traditions or an experienced Pagan that wants to start including your family in your Sabbat celebrations, this article is for you.

Figure out what you want. Do you want your family to do rituals together? Do you want them to do what you usually do on Christmas, but only on the Solstice instead? Do you want to create new traditions? Which ones? Do a Google search to find some inspiration.

I personally wanted to create a cultural tradition with four presents apiece (something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read). We would have a tree, decorate it with ornaments and natural items like popcorn and cranberries. We would bake cookies together and share a family meal. We would sing songs and spend time together as a family.

Get your spouse or partner on board. Talk with your partner about what you want. Ask them what they want. It’s pretty much a guarantee that you won’t agree about something and will have to compromise.

For my family, I didn’t really care if my son had a mythical being that brought him presents, but my husband did. I hated the idea of our son participating in photos with Santa or our neighborhood nativity play, but my husband didn’t want him to feel left out. My husband’s family had a tradition of getting pajamas and a book the night before Christmas so they can wear them and read. He also had a tradition of the kids each getting an ornament each year, so that by the time they are 18, they will have at least 18 ornaments to decorate a tree of their own. They also all sat around while their parent read “The Night Before Christmas”.

In the end, we agreed to add an ornament to the four gifts. They would open two of the gifts the night before Yule so they could read in their pajamas. We would find some mythical being to believe in related to Yule. We will not do Santa and nativity plays. We also agreed to keep stockings a tradition, but haven’t figured out what to do with them, since they only get five presents. We don’t read “The Night Before Christmas”. My husband makes a big meal for us. The kid(s) and I make and decorate cookies, but not necessarily on Yule.

Take the age of your kids into consideration. The age of a child can make a big difference when it comes to changing family traditions. The given ages are only an approximation, so you can do what works best for you and your children.

0-3 years – If you have young kids, it is an ideal time to start new traditions. If they’re really young, they won’t remember what you did last year,so you can start whatever you want without them knowing any differently.

4-7 years – If they’re a bit older, you can just make your changes saying,”We will be doing it this way from now on.”

8-10 years – They will require more explanation and possibly easing them into it. One year you can change the date and keep everything else the same. The following year you can add one tradition you like and subtract one you don’t like. You can also give some examples and ask them what they would like to include.

11-18 years – At this age, they’re more independent. Due to developmental changes, they’re starting to be more interested in their peers than the family unit. Explain to them what you would like to do. Give them some options and ask for feedback. Don’t just listen to what they have to say and do what you want anyway. Actually incorporate at least one of their suggestions, even if it wasn’t what you had in mind. If they want to celebrate Yule by staying up all night with their friends at your house then exchanging presents at dawn, let them. At least they will be on board with celebrating it, even if it’s not quite what you envisioned.

18+ years – Assuming your kids are living outside of the home, it shouldn’t matter too much what you do to celebrate. If they celebrate with you, you can inform them. There might even be pushback because it’s not what they remember fondly from their childhood. If they really have a problem with it, discuss what traditions were the most important to them and continue those traditions. If your children still live at home over the age of 18, follow the protocol for 11-18 year olds.

Take your extended family into consideration. It’s likely that most of us have some family who aren’t Pagan. Figure out what part they will play in your celebrations. Some more open-minded family members might join you for Yule presents or a Yule dinner. Many will still insist on you celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah the same way they do every year. While you can do what you want, unless they’re toxic people, I see no need to alienate family members just because they celebrate a different holiday.

When my son gets old enough to ask, I intend to explain that they celebrate Christmas so we celebrate it with them. Just like we celebrate Yule, so they come celebrate it with us. Whenever something comes up at these other celebrations that I don’t agree with, I will chalk it up to a difference in holidays. “Oh, Santa comes here because they celebrate Christmas,” then explain that we don’t do Santa when the kid is out of earshot. You may have to explain a few times. You may choose to avoid family that refuses to abide by your wishes.

Take the rest of the world into consideration. When you have kids, they don’t live in a vacuum only seeing and hearing what you want them to. They will be exposed to Christmas at the very least. You should be prepared to explain to your kids when they ask about other holidays.

I personally believe mine should be educated so they know what is out there. I plan to tell him that different people celebrate different things and that’s okay.

What does your family do to celebrate Yule? Please let us know in the comments!

Wicca for Beginners

I am part of a lot of Wicca groups on Facebook. Almost daily we get someone who is new and wants to know about Wicca or Paganism asking what they need to do. Some also ask for a teacher. Almost 100% of the people who respond to those posts send them a book list to read. There are tons of people who do not learn that way and could use a teacher. Admittedly, people are going to have to read this, but I’m not giving you full books to read. These are my recommendations for people who are new and want to learn more.

  • Figure out what you believe. Is there a specific pantheon you are interested in? Are you interested in a specific type of Wicca? Figure out which deities you want to worship.
  • How would you like to worship?
  • Are you light, dark, or grey? Are you interested in only good deities and harming none? Are you interested in being in the middle because nature isn’t just light? Are you interested in dark imagery and exploring the darker side of you?

Are all of these questions too much or too specific for you? Here are some good ways to get started in Wicca. There are other types of Paganism out there worth looking into as well, in case you decide Wicca isn’t right for you.

  • Learn about the Elements.
  • Learn about and celebrate the Sabbats and Esbats.
  • Learn about ritual tools and create an altar.
  • Learn how to ground and create a Circle for ritual.
  • Look into different Gods and Goddesses to see which ones resonate with you.
  • Connect with like-minded people. Find others near you. There are a number of groups on Facebook. Join them and see if there is anyone who lives near you. Check meetup to see if there is a local group. See if there are any metaphysical shops near you. They may offer classes or at least may connect you with any groups in the area. See if there is a Pagan Pride Day near you. Attend and make some friends!

Don’t agree with my assessments about the Elements, Sabbats and Esbats, altar tools and setup, or how to create a Circle? That’s great! That means you have an opinion on how something works and that will help you better find the path that’s right for you. There is no right way to worship in Wicca. Find what works for you and do it!

Several of you may have noticed that I didn’t mention divination (like tarot cards, pendulums, runes, etc.) or spells. Wicca is a religion. While many people who believe in Pagan religions may cast spells or read tarot cards, they are not a part of the religion. There are people who do divination and cast spells that are not religious and there are people that worship in this religion without doing divination and casting spells. For those who are interested, I will include articles about those in the future.

A final note about meeting Wiccans in real life. Because this is more of a “do-it-yourself” religion than book religions, we often end up with a lot of the people that are no longer welcome in churches, a synagogues, or mosques for a variety of reasons that then choose Paganism. There are some socially awkward people, some flaky people, and some toxic people. If you see any red flags, avoid those who display them. However, there are some truly wonderful Pagans out there, so don’t let that deter you from finding your tribe!