I didn’t expect to have any problems with this step. I would be separating out any sentimental papers, so I really didn’t expect to have any issues. One thing Marie Kondo says is that you have to take ALL of the papers throughout the house and pile them in one place. I did not realize I had that many papers to go through. I also didn’t expect how long it would take me to go through all of these papers. I managed to do all of the books in a few hours. It took about 6 hours just to finish the first half of the sorting. By the time I had finished, I was left with only three smaller piles of papers, I was sick of looking at papers, so I took a break.
I resumed working on the papers a few days later and that took a few hours as well! While Marie Kondo is able to really only have three folders (important papers, warranties, and stuff that needs to be done), I was pretty pleased with how few papers I had left. There is also another folder I keep upstairs of spiritual papers that I wanted to keep. Some of them were from classes I took or rituals that I liked, but there weren’t that many of them.
I have now been abstinent from sugary foods for 21 days now. It has been one hell of a journey so far. For the first two weeks, I was detoxing from all of the sugar. I wanted it. I craved it. Because I couldn’t have it, I overindulged on other foods. I was concerned for a time that it might be another food issue I have, but then after about day 15, I stopped wanting extra foods at meals.
That was around the first time that I managed to make it to an OA (overeaters anonymous) meeting. I had tried a few times, but due to the holidays and meetings that were no longer active, I finally found this meeting (and made sure to call first). It started with the serenity prayer and a bunch of other stuff that was read. It seemed like a ritual, so I guessed it was said every time. The best part was when people shared. One of them mentioned that after the physical detox was over, I would have emotional issues to contend with. She said that all of the feelings and issues that you ate to cover up would now show up and need to be dealt with. I had no idea how right she would be.
For the past week, I was angry, sad, depressed, but most of all I was distracted. My work started to suffer because I was having problems planning my lessons and getting things done that needed doing. It was a struggle, but I think the idea of having made it so far that I didn’t want to start over again helped.
I also had problems with my first sponsor. She wanted me to tell her what I was going to eat each day before I ate it. I really struggled with this for a few reasons. First, there are so many different resources out there with conflicting statements about “good” and “bad” foods, so I found myself in a state of chronic indecision about what to eat. Second, not knowing what to eat, we didn’t end up picking up any foods for me for lunch and so I didn’t have anything to eat, so I never knew what I was going to have. I found out later that this is a common tool for people to tend to overeat in general, but since my issue is with a specific food, it really didn’t apply to my situation. She also wanted me to fill out this checklist every day. I found out later that it was part of the 10th step and I was on step 1. I thought. I wasn’t sure because she sent me these lengthy emails with a ton of reading to do and questions to answer. She contacted me and said I needed to start doing those things on a daily basis (which I really struggled with doing) or she would drop me as a sponsee. She was doubtless doing what she thought was best for me. Some people need the “tough love” approach, but I was doing fine, so I found another temporary sponsor online.
I LOVE books! I thought this step was going to be very difficult. Our bookshelves were overflowing with books. There also was no room on them for my husband’s small collection of books. I know Marie Kondo disapproves of keeping the same classification of items in different places, but I keep my spiritual (a.k.a. Pagan) books upstairs near my altar. I do this for many reasons. First, when I am at my altar is when I will likely be reading or using these books. Second, I don’t like to display my Pagan books when it’s possible that people will stop by who won’t know I’m Pagan and I don’t want them to know that I’m Pagan. I also keep our cookbooks in the kitchen, for obvious reasons.
Also I have seen a lot of memes on various social media sites poo-pooing Marie Kondo because they took a quote from her out of context, so I thought I should address it. She says that she has managed to pare down her own personal book collection to 30 books. People took that to mean that you should only have 30 books. On the contrary, she does not tell people how many books they should have. In fact, she just wants us book-lovers to have a bookshelf full of books that we absolutely love and gives us joy. Who wouldn’t want to love every book they have on their shelf!?
So, according to the directions for this step, I took all the books and piled them up in the middle of the room. I did get rid of a large box of books, as did my husband. I also had a number of books that I was “undecided” about. After the first round, there were two boxes filled with books and a few piles that I didn’t know what to do with.
I sorted those books into the following piles: sentimental books (books that belonged to my now deceased grandmother about Norway or teaching Norwegian), spiritual books that I might like to review on my blog before I get rid of them, books that I would like to keep for my son one day, books related to a hobby that I quit that I may start again, but that I am very emotional about (long story), and books that I might like to read again someday, and books I will probably need for work.
BeforeAfter
I took the sentimental books and put them in a place to be sorted with my sentimental items at a later date. I separated the spiritual books I wanted to review for my blog from the ones I actually liked and resolved to get rid of them in a year if I didn’t get to them by then. I kept the books for my son until he’s old enough to decide what to do with them (there were only 4 of them). I also kept the books related to the hobby until I can come to a definitive decision whether or not to give up that hobby permanently. I separated the books that I might like to read again and resolved to throw out any that I did not read within the next year. The books for work went to work where I have bookshelf space for them.
BeforeAfterBeforeAfter (but the top section has sentimental and craft items that need to be sorted)
I have been thinking a lot lately about my eating behaviors and how I have struggled time and again to follow an eating plan — any eating plan. It wasn’t that big a deal before. I blamed hypothyroidism and having a baby. To be fair, both contributed greatly to my current weight. Even so, I thought about how finding sweets, especially chocolate, to snack on almost seemed like a need. With my cholesterol how it is, following a diet may literally be the difference between life and death and I couldn’t even stick with it for two weeks. That’s when I realized that I had a problem.
My specific abnormal food behaviors are as follows: – I eat when I’m not hungry – There are times when I eat so much that I feel sick – I have feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment over the way I eat and the way I look – I eat sensibly in front of others and make up for it when I’m alone – My eating is affecting my health – My eating behaviors are making me unhappy – I have tried fasting or severely restricting my food to try and lose weight – I have eaten food that was very stale – There are certain foods that I can’t stop eating after I have the first bite – I have lost weight by following a diet, only to gain it all back by binge eating – I spend too much time thinking about food and planning my next diet
After some internet searches, I found the Overeaters Anonymous website. I took their quiz and found that I had about half of the abnormal food behaviors on the list. I looked for some meetings in my area. The closest ones were 40 minutes away and happened at 10am on two weekdays a week. Wtf, do they expect only housewives to have this problem!? I found an online meeting group and an online support group. I posted there, explained that I was new, told them about my problem, and asked for advice. The advice was to get some of the literature, attend a meeting, and find a temporary sponsor.
The book and workbook came in and I found a Pagan sponsor! I was excited about this because it’s tough to trust in a higher power when I believe in so many. I was hoping since she understood the nature of Paganism, she would be able to help me with this when the time was right. I read the first two chapters of the book and really related with a lot of it. My sponsor asked me a lot of questions. I was surprised at the answers to some of them. One of them was that I was scared to start. After a lot of thinking and soul-searching on the topic, I discovered that I was afraid to give up sugar. i was afraid of never tasting it again. And that never tasting some of the foods that I really loved saddened me. I realized then that must be how an alcoholic feels about taking a drink. I understood in that moment that I truly am an addict — to sugar.
Over the holidays, we visited a number of people and I watched myself closely. My son is starting to notice these patterns and behaviors in me. My mom had a bowl of mini-m&ms set out. I kept going back for handful after handful. Every time I did, my son would hear my hand in the bowl and ran over asking for “more”. He’s learning my eating behaviors from me by watching me. I tried to control myself for his sake and failed. I kept going back for more and more m&ms. She must have kept refilling them because the bowl was never empty. I had a similar issue at my mother-in-law’s house with my favorite cookies.
Because of this, my sponsor and I decided that I should start by abstaining from sugary foods. Out of the four days I tried, I succeeded one. I suppose that was a huge success, but I felt like a failure. I am feeling a little lost in the process at the moment.
I started watching this show on Netflix one day to help me get some motivation to tidy up our house. I found Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. I binge-watched these over a matter of days (I know there are only 8 episodes, but I have a job and a toddler). I started to work on my clothes first. Clothes weren’t that big a deal for me. Since I had given birth, I was a larger size than before I got pregnant, so I needed new clothes. As such, I only had a few clothes that actually fit me. I did end up getting rid of stained clothes and a few pieces that I just don’t wear. Then I folded them up in the special way she insists on folding them. It was funny because as I ran my hand along the clothing to fold them in the right way, I felt a small energy exchange between my hand and the clothing. I actually enjoyed folding my clothes this way. I also liked how they looked when I opened the drawers.
Yes, I had officially drunk the Marie Kondo Kool-Aid. I visited my local library and took out her book since the shows really don’t address Step 2: Books or Step 3: Papers. It was a quick and satisfying read. I took a “before” video to show how our house looks on the average day. While I was reviewing this video I realized two things: this house is nowhere near as bad as some of the ones I have seen, but this house is worse than I thought it was in other respects.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ5TXZarLcI
My house before tidying up the Marie Kondo way (to be fair, I already did the clothes at this point)
I have mentioned before that I am working on starting family traditions while my son is still young. He’s 16 months old, so I figured now is the perfect time to figure all of this out. My husband and I both want to celebrate Yule, but our families both celebrate Christmas. In no other religion that I know of do you have to create new traditions when you join. One of the things I love about being an Eclectic Pagan is is that I take whatever works from whatever religion I like. I like it because there are so many good things in so many religions worth “stealing”. However, when it comes to figuring out how to celebrate holidays, it makes things tough.
My husband and I had the “Santa Claus” talk. I was in favor of telling not telling our son about Santa, he wasn’t. His argument had nothing to do with “the truth” or getting to participate in the “magic” of it and everything to do with how our son wouldn’t know about Santa when he entered school. Because of this, I started researching some options for our family. Here are some options of Santa Claus alternatives for Pagan kids.
A depiction of the Holly King
The Holly King – In Celtic traditions, there is a story of the Oak King and the Holly King. The Holly King rules the cold part of the year with the height of his power being at Yule. At the equinoxes, the power switches hands. The Holly King also looks quite a bit like Santa Claus.
Mother Berchta – She rides her goat with a sack on her back full of foods. She goes to houses, roasts the goat and gives the food. The bones go back in the bag and out jumps the goat good as new! One time a child purposely broke one of the goat’s bones and she put the child in the bag and took then away. So now she brings gifts to good kids and takes the bad ones.
Odin – Odin had a lot of characteristics of what we think of as Santa Claus now. His name in Old Norse even has the first syllable of “Jul” ( pronounced Yule in English).
Odin on Sleipnir
The Yule Lads – It’s a Scandinavian tradition (in Scandinavia, they still call Christmas, Jul) where the kids leave their shoe on the windowsill for the last 13 nights before Yule. If they were good, they get a treat. If not, they get a rotten potato.
A depiction of some of the Yule Lads on a Scandinavian milk carton
This is also a great article about some lesser-known festive traditions!
What does your family do? Tell us in the comments below!
I spent the better part of this week either traveling or at my in-laws house for Thanksgiving. Other than a big fast-food meal on the 5-hour drive, I ate pretty responsibly at meals. In between the meals, however, I have done horrible. From afar, it would look to my in-laws or my husband like I was being responsible with my eating. However, I had candy stashed away in my purse. When I went alone to go buy gas and a few groceries, I bought cookies too and ate them before I returned. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just stop eating them?
I did also get together a shopping list and menu together for my Mediterranean diet and now that I got paid, I can actually go food shopping. The down-side is that my husband is making me be the one to cook the meals, so that means I have even less time when I get home to get stuff done or spend with my son. He said it was only for two weeks until he gets an idea of how the diet works. I have two options for breakfasts and lunches for myself and different dinners every day. Each week I have fish scheduled once (the husband objected to any fish, so this is a first step for him), chicken scheduled twice, red meat scheduled once, and the remaining three meals were some variety of vegetarian. I told my husband he is welcome to cook meat for himself on those nights since he is the type to “need” meat at every meal. For me, it doesn’t matter all that much. I don’t LOVE meat, it’s just that it’s the most convenient way for me to get my protein. We’ll see how this goes.
I also did a poor job exercising this week, but it was not for lack of desire or motivation. I woke up on Monday feeling really “off”. It turned out that I had a UTI. Once they treated it, my bladder was in pain for a few days. I made myself walk when I wanted to do no exercise. Then on Wednesday, I fell down my stairs and dislocated my tailbone. It kept popping painfully in and out of place for the rest of the week. It’s still sore today, but it’s slowly becoming more manageable. I hope I can get back on track again next week. Hell, I just want the pain to be gone so I can exercise and at least feel like I’m doing something right with my lifestyle choices.
Also, something odd happened after eating that big fast food meal and after my “cheat day” on Saturday. I felt “off” again maybe an hour after eating. I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong. Maybe it was in my head. Or maybe it was me feeling the effects of that unhealthy food on my body. Either way, I need to remember that foods can have real consequences, including the painful abdominal cramps I got while my body was processing the fast food. There are so many reasons why I shouldn’t be eating these foods and yet I consume them anyway. I’m starting to wonder if I have a problem with food. If so, what can I even do about it? I’m familiar with how OA (Over-eaters Anonymous) and how they handle things. I’m not terribly interested in following their program. I wish there were other options. I haven’t even filled out my food journals. I need to find a way of being more accountable for what I put into my body. I don’t need to declare myself powerless over food and as the Goddess to do it for me. Although asking for help might not be a bad idea…. hmmm…..
Anyway, I’m just feeling frustrated and lost in all of this. Sigh.
With my latest spiritual crisis and in thinking about how I’m not a good Pagan, I asked some advice, did some research, and asked for some guidance. I don’t have a lot of time, so I had to find some way that I could easily include things in my daily life. Here is the list of things I came up with.
Read a bit of a book on Paganism
Draw or do other art with Pagan themes
Add something from nature to your home decor
Practice energy work
Meditate
Scry
Do divination
Cook and put energy into the food or bless the food
Clean with the intention of cleansing or protecting the home
Light a candle
Light incense
Diffuse essential oils (be careful of this if you have pets)
Take a walk in nature
Play some Pagany music and sing, play or dance with the music
Try something new (i.e. energy work from a book, a craft from an article)
Just like other forms of worship, there is usually an order in which everything is done. Because Paganism is a broad term encompassing many different religions, this is just a broad, generalization and may not be true for every tradition. In my experience, the sections with the asterisks next to them are included in just about every ritual. This can be done alone or in a group. Advanced practioners can simply sit there and accomplish this all energetically without moving or speaking, but that’s pretty rare. Most people tend to use movements or words aloud to symbolize what they mean to do. While there are formal ways to be trained in some traditions of Paganism, some people will also just call themselves a Priest or Priestess without any training, so you have to be wary. Some traditions have a specific High Priest and High Priestess to lead all rituals, some traditions take turns leading, and yet others have different people do different parts of the ritual. I know this is very vague, but it’s difficult to make broad generalizations on such a vast array of practices!
Smudging The participants wave a cleansing incense at each other in turn, often white sage. If this is done by a solitary practioner, the person smudges themselves.
Grounding This is a whole other topic unto itself, but it’s the act of taking unnecessary energy and putting it into the ground. Advanced practioners can do this on their own, but less experienced people may need guided visualization, actually touching the earth, or a grounding tool such as hematite to help them.
Casting the Circle* This can be done in many ways, but it’s usually done by walking in a circle counter clockwise, either by one person around all of the participants or the whole group (if there is a group). Sometimes an athame or wand is used (see ritual tools).
Calling the Elements* All of the elements: Earth, Air, Fire, and Water are called to join the circle. They can be called by different people or just one. The wording varies.
Calling the Deities* Whatever deities are appropriate can be called now. The wording varies.
The Purpose of the Ritual* Whatever the purpose of this ritual is completed now. It could be to celebrate the full moon or a sabbat (holiday). It could be to get wisdom and guidance for a purpose. It could be to do energy work or a spell (focused prayer). There are many many reasons to have a ritual.
Cakes and Ale Food and drink are consumed for a sacred purpose, which varies depending on the purpose of the ritual.
Releasing of the Deities* Whatever deities that were called are thanked for attending the ritual (often called Circle) and for helping with the purpose of the ritual. A common phrase at this point is, “Go if you must, stay if you will. Hail and farewell.”
Releasing the Elements* The elements are thanked for attending the ritual and for helping with the purpose of this ritual.
Taking Down the Circle* Whatever was done to cast the Circle is undone, usually in reverse.
The root of the word “pagan” originally meant to live in the countryside. Many years ago, when Catholicism was spreading throughout the cities of Europe, those that lived in the countryside still worshiped the “old Gods” because Christianity hadn’t yet spread to the more rural areas yet.
Today, Paganism is basically the revival of the worship of the old Gods and the traditions that came with them. However, Paganism is often a modern take on old religions. While it may have some similarities to some of those old religions, they rarely look to recreate exactly how worship was done originally. Different traditions may have specific ways of doing things (such as Gardnerian Wicca), but most of their traditions aren’t much more than a century old.
Because there are so many sects and traditions of Paganism, the only things they really have in common is that they are polytheistic and worship nature. There are also eclectic Pagans that take what they want from whatever religions they want and call it their own. I consider myself an eclectic Pagan, but I mostly practice Wicca these days.
The pentacle is often used as a symbol of Pagans. Contrary to popular opinion and various horror movies, this symbol is not Satanic in nature, not even when it’s upside-down. In fact, the majority of Pagans don’t believe in Satan, similar to the way that the majority of Christians don’t believe in Thor (as a God, not as a Marvel character). The points of the pentacle symbolize the five elements: earth, air, fire, water, and spirit. The circle represents many different things to different traditions. Two examples are the Wheel of the Year (the fact that the seasons are cyclical) and the Circle that is often created in which rituals are to be performed.
Many people wonder what sort of moral code of ethics Pagans follow. I’ve heard someone ask, “Without a Bible or Commandments to follow, how do you know how to be a good person?” The answer is we don’t need those things for us to be good people. We don’t need the guilt of sin or the fear of the afterlife to make us into good people. Most of us (as people, not as Pagans) already know what is right and wrong without a written doctrine. However, there is a general precept that whatever you do comes back to you times three. I have an amendment to that notion. Whatever you do comes back to you as many times as you need to learn your lesson. Wicca also has the Wiccan Rede which reads, “Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill: ‘And harm ye none, do what ye will.'”
Some Pagans believe in reincarnation and others don’t. There are many Pagan explanations of where we go when we die. Some believe that we go to the astral plane where our afterlife is what we make of it. Others believe we get sent back again to live other lives. The Rainbow Bridge that seems to be a common idea recently for explaining where pets go when they die actually has Pagan roots.
